Don’t use the internet so much

The last couple days, it honestly feels like I’ve spent all day staring at either my phone or laptop. The only breaks I had from them were when I showered, or did some yoga. Even when I read I would only read for around twenty minutes. Realistically twenty minutes is such a very small part of my day. And I noticed it didn’t make me feel better because it was such a small part. When I write it down, I honestly should be reading for at the minimum an hour.

About an hour ago I became so frustrated. My mind feels like it’s thinking too much. Like I feel so worried about my future and find myself endlessly searching for happiness or goals via the internet. I even started planning a whole new life goal when I haven’t even graduated from yoga school. Which is ridiculous I still have so much learning and practice to complete. My problem is I absolutely love the internet but it’s becoming a very toxic relationship I have come to realize. It’s been affecting my whole life. I’ve become very inpatient. Which doesn’t even make sense because I hardly have anything to be stressed about.

The book I’m reading is basically self help, or help finding a better way to think and live. So why does it not feel like it’s not helping? I think it is directly because my use of the internet. How the hell am I supposed to live better when I’m not really living.In the beginning of December, I was super happy. That was the same time I uninstalled social media from my phone. That can’t be a coincidence that my happiness levels increased when my internet use decreased.

If all my numbers are correct. Not that I actually used math. But just from common sense I need to take another internet cleanse. I think it will calm my mind a bit. Then after I do this I need to find a balance of internet use. Maybe I should look for a book on it, but that would require internet use of course. So shit.

Wish me luck

-Jess

Becoming a yoga instructor at 17

In five months I will be guiding others in their yoga practice. Instead of just my own. I have an opportunity to influence and change lives. That may sound extreme, but I truly believe yoga can do this. My journey so far has honestly changed me. It’s the best experience I’ve ever had. I’m finally active, and I feel good about my body. I didn’t work out for two years, before I started doing yoga. What is crazy about that, is that I used to be a dancer. That was my life, then I stopped to pursue acting, and never worked out again. Then I found yoga, and everything sort of came together. Yoga is like happiness glue. That also makes your tummy toned.

The first thing people ask most of the time is how much yoga instructors make. I don’t think there is any real answer to this though. Because honestly it’s that yoga instructors choice. It all depends on how you expand your yoga business. And yes, every person has a business. Even if it doesn’t have walls and a door. I think any sort of thing you do for money is a business. I believe that with social media it’s possible to build yourself up, and get a bigger yogi base. You can even work at a resort and teach yoga. Live and teach at a beach, that’s a dream.

When I started my yoga teacher training I was only seventeen. I’m still seventeen, but when I graduate I will have just turned eighteen. I can’t believe I will already be certified at the same time I would be high school graduating. And even if I wanted to do something else I could pursue another career. And do yoga for the rest of my life. I think this training is one of the most empowering schools. You learn so much about breath and enlightenment. When most people never experience or look into themselves beyond the outside level.

The books for my training are both good and bad. I think when anyone starts this training you quickly find out what you like. I learned I’m very interested in spirituality and meditation. These are important aspects of yoga. Although anatomy doesn’t stay in my head or my heart as easily. I know once I finish my 200 hour program, I will want to take additional classes. Such as a study just centered on the chakras. Yoga has several ways you can become specific in any area in a practice. Once I start teaching, I think that is when I will start to find my favorite style. I have five months left of my training. The thought of graduating and starting this new chapter in my life will make 2018 unforgettable. And I started this journey when I was seventeen. When will you start yours?

-Jess

New Years resolution/ worry less

This morning when I was leaving Michael’s, I didn’t get to leave at the original time I wanted. I was kinda freaking out about being late because I had a doctors appointment. He kept reassuring me that everything would be okay. And that a few extra hugs and kisses wouldn’t be the end of the world. And that I should just relax and not worry so much. Which I did anyway, I worry through everything. The ironic part was that I wasn’t late, and he was right once again. Is it because he put those thoughts out into the world that they came true? That I wouldn’t be late, or have to deal with stress on the way home. All I know is that I wish I could be more like him, the sense of calm and not worrying over the small stuff is so beautiful. I admire anyone who can stay calm and truly enjoy every moment. Because this life is so short, and each moment counts. And as I’m getting older I keep seeing more and more heart breaking events. Each one making me hold those I love closer.

I’m just trying so hard to change my mindset. Honestly, maybe this is a personality trait. I think with enough I can change it. This new year I’m going to start taking deep breaths every time my mind starts to race over little things. Or those things in the future that you have no control over until that very moment that it happens.

I feel like in our society we are forced to think about everything, and plan so perfectly. Which can directly cause worry if you don’t have everything down. It’s impossible though, for anyone to have everything planned until they die. Because no one knows when that will be.

Another type of worry that I experience is my appearance. Today after my appointment for my skin, I didn’t have any makeup on. Which I realize makes me look extremely different. Because of my acne being so bad it’s really hard to look people in the eye. It’s hard to think that anyone finds me beautiful when I am this exposed. But I didn’t let these thoughts flood my mind today. When I saw my reflection I just accepted it, and kept walking. Because I’m so much more then the spots on my face and I can’t let it control my life. There is more to everyone then just their appearance. We are all made of different qualities and skills. Someone may look at me, and think I don’t take care of myself. When in fact I eat healthy, drink a lot of water, and do yoga everyday. Who would think I would have acne that is so bad I have to start a five month medicine. You wouldn’t. But this is my reality.

I guess what I don’t understand is how my worrying differs so much. Sometimes I’m totally content and free. Then an hour later I feel like I don’t want to talk because of something so small. Hopefully by reading books and making an effort to rethink my thoughts will help. I just want to worry less.

-Jess

My New Year’s resolution is kindness

One thing that I find myself often struggling with is kindness. Overall I’m a nice person, but I can’t deny that I get frustrated and then this results in rudeness. Which doesn’t make sense because I have read so many books and quotes stressing the importance of not letting other people affect you and make you not yourself. Especially judgement, because just because someone disagrees with my lifestyle or prefers something else, I shouldn’t judge. I of course can’t stand when I am criticized for being sensitive,vegetarian, or that I spend so much time on my mat. This drives me crazy and often can make me sad and frustrated. Sometimes even making me feel not good enough or that I should change. Or go on another path.

There have been times where I’ve been out and someone has been beyond rude to me or bitchy for no reason. Or perhaps their reason was how I looked and dressed. It’s so easy to judge someone on their outside appearance of course, but there is so much more to someone then that. Some of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met have also been the nicest. And so many people think beautiful girls are automatically stuck up. From my experiences that usually isn’t the case. Same with just because an old man is kind it doesn’t mean it’s sexual. I guess these are just stereotypes. But that is not the point of this post.

I’ve already started many resolutions, just in the last sixth months. I didn’t wait for the new year however. I just did them, and didn’t stop. My New Years resolution is to be kind, and sincere. I’m going to try to change my mindset, and see the beauty in everyone. Because everyone deserves this, you can find beauty and love in everything. I think looking at people differently can actually improve our own happiness. And isn’t that what we’re all searching for?

On Christmas Eve I was driving around looking at Christmas lights with my boyfriend. It was strange how utterly happy I felt. There were no worries or judgments. I didn’t talk about what has been going on in my life, which has made the holidays not as special. I was just simply experiencing that drive. Maybe that is all happiness is, to free yourself of worry and be with the one’s you love. Even though there is so much I could worry about and everyone could to. I think sometimes, we need to take a step back. And realize everyone is trying, we’re all living and that is all we can do. We’re all just trying to be happy.

-Jess

New years resolution/ How to journal

I started writing in a journal when my mom bought me one in sixth grade. Since then I can’t remember a time where I didn’t put my thoughts onto paper. It’s interesting because on Pinterest and other google links, people always talk about writing in your journal for ten minutes a day or a full page. Saying that there are so many benefits to it, like creating mindfulness, and even helping you realize and reach your goals. So I found out that I’ve been doing this super healthy thing for a huge portion of my life and didn’t even realize. This is why I’m probably really emotional, and tend to write poetry and so forth.

This post is not about my emotions though. It’s about how I’ve kept a diary for the last six years. And I truly have. One of my friends asked me one day on how to get into journaling, initially I was taken back. How could I do this for so long but not know how to answer a simple question about it? After doing some brainstorming I think this time around I can finally answer the basics for journaling 101.

You will need a journal that you think is lovely. Because this will be another home to you for the next six months to even a year. This depends on how big you write mainly. Once you have this home, write your name in the front. I’ve always done this, and I usually follow with the time of year. After I graduated high-school my new journal was labeled “Summer after high school 2017”. By doing this when you read through them in the future you can quickly indicate this special time in your life.

The first day, your pen goes to paper. Maybe not the first day ever, but this is a new journey that you and your journal are now taking together. On the first page write the date at the top, in whatever fashion you want. If you feel lost on what to write take a breath and I’ll give you a few ideas/tips. Think about what you did today, any sort of emotion that you have experienced in the last few hours. This is your inspiration for your writing. I’m going to write something I actually wrote in my personal journal, just in case you need some extra direction.

September 19, 2017

Life has improved a lot since Sunday. I went to a yoga class this morning. And I did some research into getting a work visa in Australia. Which I am going to start saving for. From here on out I am only going to spend money on gas for this month. Hopefully I can go to Australia in 18 months. So a year and a half. I want to try to save $20,000.

This is one of my most optimistic and positive pages I have written in my journal. Most things I write can be sort of sad, because this is how I get out those emotions. I believe journaling is honestly great to get into. Because as long as you have a pen and paper you can do it. It’s a very easy and rewarding hobby. It will just take time to get into the habit of writing everyday. However, don’t stress or panic if you miss a day. I’ve gone a week or more without writing. And it’s totally okay!

Once you have been journaling for awhile you can look back and read about your own life. It’s almost as if you now have a book of your history. That include raw emotions, and experiences. One of the best feelings ever is to read about such a special and happy memory that you wouldn’t have remembered unless you wrote it down. It’s such a special gift you can give yourself. I hope in the new year, you can give yourself this special rewarding gift.

-Jess