The nicest thing happened, someone talked to me about my blog. I didn’t think anyone actually read anything, even when I have notifications that say otherwise. It truly made my heart feel so full. I went back and read it myself. And it blew my mind. I’ve changed so much in so little time. I think it’s completely because of the conditions in my life. Even though I have so many wonderful people in my life who love and support me, I often feel like I don’t have a set place. Mainly because my living situation doesn’t really feel like I have a home. And my longest relationship has actually come to a closing.
These things start to make you feel independent.
I recently went on a trip to Germany to visit my friend, this trip truly changed everything. Making me more grateful then ever before. Before I left I was kinda in a funk, I felt so bad for myself for the divorce for my home being taken from me, having no personal space, for someone who I loved so much to not want me anymore. Yeah, I was depressed. Then going to Germany made me realize how lucky I actually am. It reminded me of me, like the things I have to offer to people. No one can ever take these things away. Because my kindness, my smile, is me. Everyone in my life is meant to be there. All the hardships are special to my life. Sometimes I really don’t know what to say, but I know I need to write more. At least once a week I guess to not lose myself again.
So, thanks for reading my blog. Happy thanksgiving
-Jess
We all have intuition, whether we realize it or even let it factor into our lives. It’s there like a gift almost. Intuition gives us these feelings to guide our lives in the right directions and take us away from the wrong ones. The last couple weeks have been very emotional and spiritual for me. I’ve been crying very often and about things that don’t make sense. I’ve been crying because I’m sad, but why on earth would I be sad? I have everything I could ever need.
This is seriously my face! It is crazy to see how far along my skin has come. My doctor upped my dosage so I took accutane day and night. Instead of only in the morning. This honestly helped greatly. But by doing this my skin has also become way more dry and irritating.
I know that must sound weird. Or not really make a whole lot of sense. But it’s true I woke up this morning, it’s Saturday so I didn’t have any true responsibilities. So there was no reason to be sad. I was just happy. I woke up and made myself coffee. I thought about how lucky I am to have that amazing machine that makes coffee in about a minute. This made me happy, just thinking about all the things in life. Things I tend to take for granted but are actually luxuries. Isn’t that enough to be happy? Obviously not because happiness comes from within. That’s why materialism doesn’t work to create lasting happiness.
The last couple days, it honestly feels like I’ve spent all day staring at either my phone or laptop. The only breaks I had from them were when I showered, or did some yoga. Even when I read I would only read for around twenty minutes. Realistically twenty minutes is such a very small part of my day. And I noticed it didn’t make me feel better because it was such a small part. When I write it down, I honestly should be reading for at the minimum an hour.
These photos are honestly really hard to even take, but this is my skin with no makeup. I have terrible hormonal acne that covers almost my entire face. I’ve tried everything possible to get rid of it. Accutane is my last resort. It’s crazy to think that there is a possibility of having clear skin. My acne has caused me so much emotional pain more then I could ever imagine. I’ve cried so many times just from feeling so hideous, it’s ruined my relationship with myself and has made me feel unworthy to love.
In five months I will be guiding others in their yoga practice. Instead of just my own. I have an opportunity to influence and change lives. That may sound extreme, but I truly believe yoga can do this. My journey so far has honestly changed me. It’s the best experience I’ve ever had. I’m finally active, and I feel good about my body. I didn’t work out for two years, before I started doing yoga. What is crazy about that, is that I used to be a dancer. That was my life, then I stopped to pursue acting, and never worked out again. Then I found yoga, and everything sort of came together. Yoga is like happiness glue. That also makes your tummy toned.
I started writing in a journal when my mom bought me one in sixth grade. Since then I can’t remember a time where I didn’t put my thoughts onto paper. It’s interesting because on Pinterest and other google links, people always talk about writing in your journal for ten minutes a day or a full page. Saying that there are so many benefits to it, like creating mindfulness, and even helping you realize and reach your goals. So I found out that I’ve been doing this super healthy thing for a huge portion of my life and didn’t even realize. This is why I’m probably really emotional, and tend to write poetry and so forth.
When I started working as a banquet server I had only about $250 in my bank account. It’s been almost four months at this job and I’ve saved almost all the money I’ve made. How did I do it? It honestly didn’t even occur to me that I wasn’t spending much until I suddenly had $1,500 in my savings (this doesn’t include my checking). The money in my checking I use for gas, food, fun etc.
jesskroeger 